Mood:
quizzicalNow Playing: --James Goldman, The Lion in Winter
Topic: Artistic Activism
Life...is not for the faint of heart. Not mine, not yours, not anyone's. I feel certain that never before in human existence have people ever been so bogged down by details. The details of living; utilities, jobs, illnesses, family crises, commercial distractions; the details of life; economic reverses, natural disasters, man-made wars, global warming.
I have CFIDS. One thing about this illness is that it does permit you to view the world from the ground up. Suddenly, the physical strength you took for granted, the mental capacity to think on your feet...it's gone. And everything is a struggle. I've always been a big picture girl. I've had endless confidence in my skills as a visionary, the ability to see the possibility of Something where Nothing exists. I've always been good at that. Believing. Having faith, you might say. At times I've failed...but I've succeeded as well.
Daily life however, is the details. Balancing the checkbook, sending off the bills, checking the oil, dusting (heh, as if). These tasks have always seemed difficult to manage. And now...impossible.
Even so. Even adjusting for the limitations my body has imposed upon me; I don't think I'm wrong. We are all enormously busy. Our lives taken up with...details. We run from place to place with a phone on our ear, a pager on our hip, a blackberry in our hand. All day long, we are checking and sending email, arranging, fixing, managing, from the other side of town, from the other side of the world. As if everything -- all of it matters so much, and matters so urgently.
All of these details make us forget, I think, about living, really living. We rarely, if ever have time to ask ourselves, "Which of these details are necessary?" Whether these details in which we invest time and stress add to happiness in our lives or in that of our family's? And if they do not, are they in some other way necessary? Necessary. As Jesus said to Martha, "A few things, though, are needed, or just one."
Details...everyone is drowning in details.
Tags: artistic activism, nonprofit, philanthropy, zine, artists, bakery of the poets, cfids, illness, stress, life
